Scared Straight

so i just went to type the address of this website and instead of typing "www" i typed "wwj." Apparently I've got jesus on the brain. Good thing, cus I'm guilty of criminal behavior. Let me 'splain.

So I've said it before and I'll say it again. When I'm in a foreign country, I love stealing. i can't get enough of it. Harmless stealing (which is the only kind of stealing I do) is the best! So I mentioned how the turnstile on the metro was broken and i got a free ride. Well the next day I also got a free metro ride! What luck! (Musta been the bird shit!) So I was at Montparnasse Bienvenue and I had my ticket out ready to go through the turnstile, when I noticed that the turnstile right next the one I was about to use was stuck open. I considered my options for a moment, thought maybe it was a trick, but tried my luck anyway. The doors didn't shut on me so I thought, "great! a free metro ride! i could use it, i'm unemployed" (and probably will be forever since i'm now publishing my tendency to break the law). So I made it all the way home, sans probleme, and thought about how great it is to steal things.

So today I was at the same metro station seriously hoping I could get another free ride. So I turn the corner to reach the turnstiles, and drat, none of them is broken, so I have to use a ticket. Good thing!! As soon as I turn into the tunnel that leads to my train, I'm greeted by a roadblock of about six controleurs checking everyone's ticket! So it was all good cus I actually used my ticket, but I couldn't help but think about how close I'd come to getting thrown into a French prison because I tried to cheat the RATP out of 1,60 euros. Well I probably wouldn't have gone to prison, but I'm sure it would've been a huge inconvenience. So i'm not going to be looking to steal a metro ride again until I feel like things have calmed down and it's safe again.

So how about that swine flu?? how do these things even happen? it's a mix of bird flu, swine flu, and people flu? how did those things ever get mixed together? isn't "swine" one of the most awful words ever? as if people weren't scared enough of mexicans already, now everyone's going to think they've all got swine flu.


Author's note: the only things i've ever stolen are glassware from bars and metro rides. I was doing those bars a favor by taking those glasses - fewer dishes for them to wash!